Beyond Milestones: Helping Children Reach the SkiesA Letter to Parents as Another School Year Begins

"Our job as parents isn't to keep our children from falling. It's to make sure they know they can get back up."

As I sit down to write this letter, my eyes are filled with tears—tears of gratitude, joy, and just a little bit of disbelief. In just a few weeks, my youngest son will begin his senior year of high school. Like so many parents, I'm wondering how the years passed so quickly. It seems like yesterday I was walking him into kindergarten, cheering at little league games, helping with homework, and tucking him into bed. Now I'm watching him prepare for the next chapter of his life.

This season has reminded me that the goal of parenting was never to keep my children little. It has always been to prepare them to launch.

As both a mother and a pediatrician, I've come to realize that these two callings are beautifully intertwined. Every day in my office I have the privilege of monitoring children's growth and celebrating developmental milestones. Every day at home, I have the privilege of watching my own children grow into the unique people God created them to be.

Whether I am caring for my patients or loving my own children, my mission is ultimately the same: to help prepare them to become the men and women the Lord has designed them to be. That preparation is about so much more than report cards, test scores, athletic achievements, or developmental checklists. It's about building character, resilience, faith, compassion, and the confidence to step into adulthood knowing they are deeply loved and capable of overcoming life's challenges.

Every August, something changes in my exam room.

Parents begin asking different questions. They wonder if their child is ready for kindergarten, whether they're reading at grade level, making friends, or keeping up with classmates. Whether children attend public school, private school, or learn at home, the concerns are remarkably similar. We all want reassurance that our children are on the right path.

Those questions come from a place of deep love. As parents, we celebrate every first smile, first step, first word, and every milestone that follows. Developmental milestones matter. They help us recognize when children are growing as expected and when they may benefit from additional support or early intervention. As pediatricians, we celebrate those milestones because they are important guideposts along a child's journey.

But after years of walking alongside families, I've come to believe there is an even more important question than, "Is my child on track?"

Is my child becoming the person they were created to be?

That question shifts our focus from comparison to purpose, from achievement to character, and from simply measuring progress to intentionally nurturing potential. Childhood is not merely a race from one milestone to the next. It is a journey of becoming.

One of the most common questions people ask about Albert Einstein is, "What was his IQ?" The truth is, we don't actually know. Einstein never took a modern intelligence test. Yet history doesn't remember him because of a number. It remembers him because of his curiosity, creativity, perseverance, imagination, and courage to ask questions that changed the world.

The same is true for our children.

Some will excel academically. Others will shine through compassion, leadership, creativity, craftsmanship, or service. Some discover their gifts early, while others reveal them slowly over years of growing and overcoming challenges. Milestones, report cards, and test scores tell us something important about where a child is today, but they can never fully tell us who that child will become.

Children are not problems to solve… They are people to develop.

Perhaps no childhood experience illustrates healthy development better than learning to ride a bicycle.

Every parent knows what's coming. At some point your child is going to fall. There will be scraped knees, tears, and maybe even the declaration, "I don't want to do this anymore." Yet we encourage them to climb back on because we understand something deeper. Confidence isn't built by preventing every fall. It's built by discovering that you can get back up.

Parenting is much the same way.

Our instinct is often to protect our children from disappointment, failure, and heartache. But healthy growth happens when children experience age-appropriate challenges within the safety of loving relationships. Our job isn't to remove every obstacle from their path. Our job is to walk beside them long enough that they discover they can move forward on their own.

One of my favorite illustrations of this comes from an unlikely place—a playground.

Researchers have observed that children actually play more freely inside a thoughtfully fenced playground than they do in a wide-open field. At first glance, the fence appears restrictive. In reality, it creates security. Because children know where it is safe to explore, they climb higher, run farther, imagine more creatively, and confidently discover the world around them.

Families work the same way.

Children flourish within loving boundaries that provide consistency, security, grace, and unconditional love. Predictable routines, clear expectations, meaningful responsibilities, forgiveness when they fail, and encouragement when they struggle don't limit a child's freedom—they create the foundation from which true independence grows. Those boundaries aren't walls that hold our children back. They are launch pads preparing them for life.

As I write these words, my youngest is getting ready for his senior year. His backpack will soon be replaced with college applications, decisions, and dreams that are becoming his own. If I'm honest, there are moments when I wish I could slow time just a little longer.

But then I remember that this has always been the goal.

Every bedtime story.

Every scraped knee.

Every parent-teacher conference.

Every family dinner.

Every prayer whispered over a sleeping child.

Every boundary we lovingly held.

Every difficult conversation.

Every opportunity to let him fail, try again, and discover he was stronger than he realized.

None of it was simply preparing him for his senior year —> It was preparing him for life.

Isaiah 40:31reminds us that "those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint." That verse has taken on a new meaning for me this year. Eagles aren't meant to stay in the nest forever. 

Loving parents were never called to keep their children in the nest. We are called to strengthen their wings, nurture their faith, and prepare them to soar wherever God leads them.

So this August, celebrate every milestone. They matter. They tell us our children are growing, learning, and developing. But don't stop there. Celebrate their kindness. Their curiosity. Their courage. Their perseverance. Their faith. Celebrate the people they are becoming.

Because long after the report cards are forgotten and the trophies gather dust, those are the qualities that will carry them through life.

And if you're anything like me, you'll probably watch them spread their wings through tears of joy—grateful that God entrusted them to you for a season and even more grateful that He has a beautiful purpose prepared for the journey ahead.